Today's JSVB Post concerns the male rump as a tool for smuggling. I don't believe I'm being graphic, but if you don't want to see that kind of thing, don't scroll down.
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Cue Shirley Bassey.
The Man With The Golden Ass may turn out to be a former employee of the Canadian Mint who stands accused of stealing gold ingots from the Government of Canada by smuggling them shoved up his anus.
His dreams of a golden retirement were stopped up when he was flushed out by an alert bank employee who noted a number of suspicious transactions involving bullion. The cookie-sized ingots that the alleged thief was selling match those produced within the foundry of the Mint. Costively speaking, the total value of the gold is estimated at just under two hundred thousand dollars, with each ingot priced at nearly $7,000 apiece.
If convicted, Goldenass ought to be popular in prison considering how things are smuggled in. I've heard how some inmates will insert rectal Rolexes, you know, just to pass the time.